Loneliness can be defined as,

…an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation.

Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people.

The holidays can be some of the loneliest times for people. They can trigger feelings of isolation. The first thing I want you to know is that loneliness is universal. There are 4 seasons of loneliness that are the most common. Depending on the stage of life you are in you may experience one or all of them.

LONELY SINGLE

This describes the unmarried person who longs for emotional and/or physical companionship. He/she often questions whether or not God has forgotten about their prayer for a partner.

LONELY SPOUSE

Sometimes single people can wrongly assume that those who are married are exempt from loneliness. The lonely spouse can actually be worse off because they are around someone but still feel alone because they feel neglected, rejected, misunderstood and often times taken advantage of.

LONELY SENIOR

This group can experience significant loneliness around the holidays because it is a time where families get together. Seniors are often that forgotten group whom people feel as though they don’t need attention or company. They don’t feel significant anymore. They feel even their own families are too busy for them. They feel like no one appreciates the sacrifices they have made for others and they struggle in solitude with depression.

LONELY SURVIVOR

This group experiences the greatest loneliness of all. They have lost a loved one and are constantly plagued with past memories together with their loved one.

Now, why did I highlight each group? Because if you are not in one of these groups you may know people in these groups and I want to encourage you to reach out to them and be sensitive to them during this season. The question should be asked,

Why would God allow me to experience solitude?

I mean after all, God could create some company for you if He so desired, right? I’d like to provide 3 quick reasons why followed by some practical steps we can take to handle it.

#1 – COMMUNICATION

Sometimes God allows us to experience seasons of solitude because he wants to communicate with us.

He knows that when we are constantly surrounded by people it is often too noisy to hear His voice. So, at times, He will isolate us so we can better hear His voice. Some of our greatest times with God come during times of solitude. Here are several examples in the Scriptures.

• Moses – Right before God gave him the plans for the tabernacle and the O.T. Law he called Moses to a place of solitude for 40 days on top of a mountain.
• David – Some of the psalms David wrote were written from the inside of a cave.
• Paul – Before the great Apostle Paul started his ministry God sent him to Arabia for 3 years – NT Epistles
• John – When God gave the Apostle John the book of Revelation it was when he was alone on an island called Patmos.

#2 – EXAMINATION

Sometimes we are experiencing the test of solitude. This test is designed to expose our level of faith. In Job 1 Satan told God, “If you take everything away from him he will curse you to your face.” Job was under a divine test allowed by God to expose the sincerity of his faith and he didn’t even know it. God may be testing you today with solitude. A person’s true character and faith is exposed in solitude.

Will you become angry with God? Will you use an old habit to escape reality? Will you let go of that person you are using as a “time filler” for companionship when you know they are know who God has for you?

#3 – PREPARATION

Sometimes God allows His children to experience solitude when He is preparing them for something. Before God used Moses to lead 2 millions Jews out of Egyptian slavery he separated him for 40 years on the backside of a desert. Before God promoted Joseph he separated him from his family for 13 years. I hope your season isn’t that long, but God may be preparing you for something great just on the other side of this season of solitude.

So, what can we do when we are experiencing loneliness?

REACH UP

God makes a promise to us in James 4:8 when He says, “draw near to God and he will draw near to you.” When you are experiencing loneliness take that opportunity to REALLY invest in your relationship with God. I am convinced that God will speak to you in ways He may not choose to when you are surrounded by lots of people and noise.

REACH IN

When you are feeling lonely, that’s the time for you to work on yourself. What are your spiritual gifts? What are your goals? What are your hobbies? If you are single I strongly encourage you to use this time to work on YOU so that you can present your BEST self to your future mate one day. No one wants someone who is just simply waiting around to be rescued but has no real life of their own. Be sure you are a complete and whole person so that you can give yourself to someone else.

REACH OUT

Many people are alone by choice. In other words, God has blessed them with a community of people but their pride is too strong to reach out to people and ask them for some time. Many people are too proud to admit they are lonely so they simply remain…lonely. Take a class. Get involved at your church. Get involved in your community. Join a fitness center. Join a book club. Join a small group. Now, these are still all self-focused. Reach out to someone who is in need of what you have to offer. Mentor someone. Go visit that lonely single, spouse, senior or survivor and encourage them.

SUMMARY

Loneliness is universal. Every human being will at times experience it. Pay attention to how God may want to use this season in your life. Reach UP, Reach IN, and Reach OUT to those around you.