Using an online dating service to meet someone is becoming more and more popular. A recent study shows that over 40 million Americans have used an online dating service at some point or another. I tried a few of them when I was single. So, I would like to say that the days of being ashamed of dating online should be over by now.

Contrary to some people’s opinion, dating online doesn’t make you desperate. Staying with someone you know is not good for you because you are afraid of being alone does.

Concerning online dating, some Christians will get spiritual and say,

It’s not God’s will to meet someone that way. Let God bring the person to you.

or

Why should I have to pay for love?

Hmmm, do we approach anything else in life that way? When we are unemployed do we say, “I won’t look for a job; I’ll just wait for God to send me one.” If we want to look at how God hooked people up in the Bible, the truth is that there were a variety of ways. Who are we to put God in a box and say that God cannot and should not use technology to connect people together? He uses technology to connect us to people all the time for business, ministry and personal reasons. So, why not for romantic reasons? The key is not how you meet them but what you do after the initial connection is made.

What are the Advantages?

Advantage #1 – Allows for Preliminary Screening

Have you ever started getting to know someone only to find out on the third or fourth date something about that person you wish you would have known beforehand? Online dating can sometimes provide you with the necessary information you need in order to decide whether or not you even want to talk on the phone with this person beforehand.

Advantage #2 – It widens your Sphere.

People are becoming busier and busier these days and it’s becoming much more difficult to meet people. If your schedule looked like mine a few years back it included going to work, to the gym, to church and home. You get up the next day and do the same exact four things. That can get discouraging when you look around and don’t see any “prospects.”

However, online dating can present its unique challenges. I’m not here to advocate that a person should or should not use an online dating service. However, if you desire to do so here are 6 tips on how to hopefully have a positive experience.

Tip #1 – Let God Lead You

This is first because it would be first in a traditional dating context. Remember that online dating sites simply provide the connection. It’s up to you to discern this person’s character, assess red flags and allow God to give you peace about continuing to court this person. Pray about EACH person you encounter online. Put the ball in God’s court and trust Him to reveal who this person is so you can make a wise choice.

Tip #2 – Be HONEST

One of the biggest frustrations about online dating, or dating in general, is that people are not always who they present themselves to be online. Commit to being honest and providing the person viewing your profile full disclosure so you don’t waste their time or yours. Here are a few areas where honesty is key.

1. Appearance – Sometimes people think, “I’ll hook them with my personality and then it won’t matter to them how I look.” Really? Really? I got burnt with this one. I got to know a young lady for 2 months over the phone. We had great conversations and good chemistry. I decided to travel to Florida to meet her only to discover she was not physically who she presented herself to be in her pictures. To her own admission, she had hoped that by the time we met in person it would not have mattered what she looked like. It was very disappointing for the both of us. So, please post a VARIETY (head shots, full length, etc.) of RECENT pictures to ensure that the person viewing your profile is not surprised when they meet you. This is not being shallow. It’s being emotionally responsible and it’s a way to protect both your heart and other people’s as well.
2. Expectations – Be clear on what you are looking for in this season of your life. Are you looking for just a friend to hang with from time to time? Are you looking for marriage? Set that expectation from the beginning so that people who are looking for something different than you can hopefully not contact you.
3. Other Areas –  Be honest with your personal information, educational background, occupation, income, family background and spiritual walk, to name a few.

Tip #3 – Meet SOONER rather than LATER

One mistake people often make in online dating is they talk on the phone for months and develop this intimate emotional connection and then when they finally meet in person the connection they had via email, text and phone is not the same in person for a variety of reasons. They could be socially awkward. They could have a smell you can’t deal with. So if you’re local I’d say after 2-3 conversations it’s time to meet up at a Starbucks, or another public place, to see if there is a connection in person. If it’s long distance try to meet once you feel like this person is someone you’d like to get to know.

Tip #4 – Avoid engaging several people at one time

Depending upon which service you use, you can have so many winks and flirts coming at you that you are just bombarded and overwhelmed. And the whole process stresses you out more than anything else. I don’t know about you but it takes energy just getting to know ONE person at a time. Lol. When you are communicating with several people at once it becomes very difficult for you to focus on one person and assess whether that relationship is right because you only have so much energy and time. This is true offline as well. Someone always ends up not getting all of you. You may be drained by the time you talk with person #2 or #3. You end up communicating with lots of people at one time then when you find someone you enjoy you drop all the others and some of them may end up getting hurt in the process depending on how emotionally attached they were to you. Even though you may or may not have met these people, be careful to protect their heart as much as depends on you.

Tip #5 – Use a reputable online dating service

Be careful as to which website you used to date online. Some of them are just hook-up sites. I’m just going to say it. Sometimes, YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR. Sometimes people who are more serious about making a lifelong commitment will be willing to pay for a subscription. Whereas people who are simply looking to hang out will frequent the free sites. If you’re willing to invest a little bit you may find other people that are more serious about finding the right mate for them.

Tip #6 – Protect your Personal Contact Info

I would hesitate to use your last name and provide any personal details about where you live. While we would like to believe the people on these sites are safe and sane, as we all know, unfortunately there are some stalkers out here. The less personal info you give at the beginning the better. However, if the person you are communicating with does provide their contact info (full name, etc.) then you may want to head over to their social media pages and check out what they post. People say a lot about themselves by what they post and you may receive your answer as to whether you would like to continue getting to know them.

These are just a few tips to get you started in the world of online dating. Remember that the same principles that apply to offline dating apply online. Praying God’s best for you!